How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem and Self-Condemnation

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How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem and Self-Condemnation

The overall manner or way we perceive ourselves and the level of value we place on ourselves termed our self-esteem.

The way you see yourself directly affect the way you relate with other people. You feel inferior when you are amid other persons if you have low value for yourself.

Your self-esteem will determine your likeness and value for yourself as a person. It will determine your ability to believe in yourself in successfully carrying out a new and challenging task.

Your self-esteem will determine your ability to get over mistakes without putting unfair blame on yourself.

Poor self-esteem makes one feel he or she is not good enough to receive good things and live a happy life.
Simply put; your self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself.

This is why persons with a healthy self-esteem like and value themselves and those with low self-esteem do not. 

Persons with defective self-esteem level usually feel unhappy and dissatisfied with themselves. The good news is that you can overcome low self-esteem. 

The following are some signs or syndromes associated with persons with poor self-esteem:
  • They become incredibly critical of themselves 
  • They play down and ignore their positive qualities 
  • They tend to Judge themselves to be inferior to their peers They Use negative remarks to describe themselves such as ugly, stupid, fat or useless 
  • They always seem to assume that their achievements are as a result of luck and not on credit or merit. 
  • They put blames on themselves when things do not go the way they plan and expect, instead of placing into consideration other factors that are out of their control such as the actions and decisions of other persons or economic factors which may have resulted in the negative outcome. 
  • They usually find it difficult to believe any person who tries to compliment them.  

Low Self-Esteem in Connection to the Quality of Your Life 

The following are some ways low self-esteem is connected to the quality of life a person will live.

Negative Feelings 

The intermittent and extreme self-criticism can consequently result in intense feelings of depression, sadness, shame, anger, anxiety, and guilt.

Relationship Issues 

Low self-esteem may make someone remain in an abusive relationship and put up with all sorts of unreasonable treatments and behavior from their partners.

This is due to their belief that they do not deserve to be in a happy relationship. They usually feel they do not deserve to be loved.

Fear of trying 

Persons with low self-esteem may doubt their capabilities and self-worth. This, in turn, makes them avoid taking up a new challenge.

Fear of judgment 

For fear of being negatively judged, persons with low self-esteem tend to avoid activities that involve other persons.

For this reason, they may not want to get involved in activities like social events or sporting activities that involve many players.

People with poor or low self-esteem continuously look out for signs that suggest they are not liked by others.

Low resilience 

A person with a problem of low self-esteem have difficulty coping with life’s challenges because of low self-worth and belief. They see themselves as ‘hopeless’ people that cannot survive a difficult life’s situation successfully.

Lack of self-care 

Persons with low self-esteem feel they do not deserve to look good. So, they don’t take out time to dress well or look good and attractive.

Self-harming behavior 

Drug abuse, suicide, and eating disorder are commonly associated with persons with low self-esteem. Some of the notable factors that may lead to the problem of low self-esteem may include the following:
  • Poor or unhappy childhood period, which was laden with huge criticism from parents, teachers, etc. 
  • Lack of self-confidence resulting from Poor academic performance in school. 
  • Depression as resulting from some emotionally stressful life’s experiences, such as poor relationship or financial inadequacies. 
  • Bad parental, partner, or career treatment. 
  • Depression resulting from medical issues such as chronic pain, physical disability, anxiety disorder or mental illness 
Since persons with low self-esteem lack self-confidence and feel bad about themselves, they are quick to believe that they are unlovable, incompetent, and awkward. Persons with low self-esteem tend to have a weak or fragile self-image which can easily be wounded by others.

Additionally, persons suffering from low self-esteem are often highly vigilant and alert to signs of inadequacy and rejection by others. Persons with low self-esteem are easily swayed by every wind doctrines and belief system. They can’t just stand their ground and argue their point or press home their demand. This is the primary reason they are very prone to peer pressure.

If all of these describe you and what you are currently going through, get ready for your liberation as this article is filled with powerful solutions that will help you build self-confidence and boost your overall self-esteem.

How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem and Self-Condemnation

How to Develop Self-Confidence 

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem 

Even though the problem of low self-esteem is so bad that it makes one feel less than a human being, there exist effective behavioral remedy that you can practice to boost your confidence.

Remember that your self-esteem is strongly connected to how you view yourself and respond to the things that take place in your life.

The following are ways you can build your self-esteem level to the roof:

1. Talk to Yourself Positively 

It matters the way you view and treat yourself. Start seeing and treating yourself as special as you would treat that person that is very special to you.

Tolerate yourself. Avoid being your own destructive critic when you make any mistake. You are special.

2. Avoid Talking Yourself Down 

Avoid criticizing yourself negatively each time you make mistakes. Rather than cursing yourself for your mistakes, be objective enough to ask yourself or a trusted friend for a solution to avoid a recurrence of the error you may have made.

With this, you will find out that the self negative criticism is entirely unnecessary.

3. Don’t compare yourself to others 

It is important you recognize that everyone is created and wired differently.  You have to accept yourself the way you are because you are unique. You are the best version of you.

4. Acknowledge the Positive 

Have a positive image of yourself. Don’t brush off or dismiss the compliments you get from other people. Believe you are beautiful and capable of doing great things.

Don’t count your achievements as mere luck or coincidence.
Believe in yourself. Believe that you deserve the best. Take time out to recognize and appreciate the unique qualities and abilities you have.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, there are some unique qualities you have that your friends or other people do not have. Don’t accept the wrong picture of yourself.
There is an African proverb that says, “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm”.

The enemy we have within is that negative inner voice that continually tells us that we are not good enough, and we can’t achieve those great feats others are achieving.

You have to reject that negative inner thoughts and voices consciously. The bible says, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” You are a direct reflection of the image you create and paint yourself within your mind.

5. Forget About Past Failures 

In your effort to build your confidence level, it is crucial you put away past failures and disappointments. Focus your attention on the present.

6. Consistently Say Positive Things to Yourself Every day 

The bible says,” By your words you are justified, and by your words, you are condemned.” Words are powerful. What you say about yourself is very powerful.

Life and death are in the power of your tongue. If you say wrong things about yourself, that is what you will get. And if you speak the right words about yourself, that’s what will be manifested in you.

So, it is important you say positive things about yourself. Spend more time with people who say nice things to you and about you. Protect your heart by avoiding big –mouthed abusive people. Call yourself good and positive names.

7. Stop the Worries

You don’t have to worry or fret about what the future holds for you. Believe that you have what it takes to live a happy life in the future. Focus your attention on the present.

8. Have fun and Exercise 

Take out time to schedule enjoyable moments and activities every now and then. Exercise is also an excellent boost to the brain when it comes to dealing with depression associated with low self-esteem.

Behavioural Patterns that Will Help You Boost Your Self Confidence Level

1. Be assertive 

One of the major problems of persons suffering from low self-esteem is the inability to make firm decisions of their own and stand by them.

It is therefore vital you start being assertive about your needs, beliefs, wants, and feelings without fear or timidity. The more you do this, the more it becomes a part of you.

2. Live Up to Your Own Moral Principle.

Self- respect is directly proportional to self-esteem. You are more likely to feel happy with yourself each time you live a life that is in line with your own opinion and principles.

This will help you build more confidence and live a better life.

You tend to lose respect for yourself each time you allow yourself to be swayed by other people’s opinion.

My favorite motivational speaker, Les Brown, said and I quote. “Somebody else’s opinion of you doesn’t have to become your reality.” You must be on the wheels of your own life if you want to build a healthy self-esteem.

This is very powerful not only because you will start having more respect for yourself, but because others will also begin to respect you for standing by our principles and opinions.

3. Do Something Valuable and Meaningful 

Each time we do something beautiful and meaningful, we tend to feel good about ourselves as human beings. We feel better about ourselves each time we take part in activities that are helpful to others. 

This is one powerful way you can begin to boost your self-confidence and self-esteem level.

4. Stop Listening to Your Inner Critic 

As earlier stated, there is always an inner negative voice that seeks to slow people down in life.

But the difference between people that are doing great things and those that are not is that people that fail in life always listen, believe and act according to the dictates of this inner negative voice, while successful people don’t.

Believe in yourself, my dear. You have what it takes to do great things. You are blessed with all you require to live a happy and glorious life.

Completely kick out negative thoughts like
...I am stupid.
....I am too fat.
....Nobody likes me.
....Why can’t I be like other people?
.... I am worthless.

It is important you stand up to your inner negative critical voice in order to overcome low self-esteem.

The way you can do this is to counter your negative thoughts with positive ones.

Consistently, say to yourself, a direct opposite of what you get from the negative inner voice. By so doing, you will end up drowning that negative inner thoughts and voices with your positive words and thoughts.

You are the best version of you that God created. Don’t ever forget that.

How to overcoming low self-esteem and self condemnation was written by Michael Festus of Nerdy Rockson. Like it? Share it! You rock. 

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